Me: Look, we need to talk. You've been acting really weird lately. And by lately I mean all of the last year.
Carbs: What? Are you kidding me? You're the one who's acting weird. It's been over a year since I've seen some of that endogenous insulin I knew and loved. What is it with all this artificial crap you've been throwing at me?
Me: People change! You vowed to be with me for better and for worse! Also, insulin production wasn't gonna be forever. You knew that.
Carbs: I definitely didn't know that! I didn't sign up for this.
Me: I thought you liked me for my intelligence.
Carbs: Well. I only ever liked you for your viable pancreas. I would've said anything to be able to unite with those dashing beta-cells.
Me: Fine! Then maybe we should see other people. I definitely wanna see less of you. Like, 100 grams less of you.
Carbs: Well, yeah, less is more. Maybe you should look into losing some hundreds of grams yourself.
Me: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S MAKING ME FAT!
Carbs: Sure, blame it on me. It's your artificial crap that's stuffing me into your cells like crazy.
Me: This has nothing to do with Novolog. Stop picking on him.
Me: Fine then. Off you go.
Carbs: You're gonne be so sorry. I am very hard to replace.
Me: Yeah, fast energy, cheap meals, yadda-yadda-yadda. I know the drill. I'll survive.